On Christmas eve some may hear the chime of a distant bell
and others may hear a sweet Yule-time carol
But, a few will hear the clatter of the cloven hooves of hell
as their greed has put their mortal flesh at peril
The Krampus stalks his prey this very night
and He will mete out justice on the looters
His feral eyes will see those he must smite
seeking out the evil users and polluters
Drink your brandy and smoke your cigars.
You will tread on your fellow man only so long
Boast of your earthly treasures in your swanky bars
The Krampus will gladly teach you right from wrong
Serve your fellow man everyday
and avoid the beast best known to flay
This is my entry for the Surviving the Zombie Apocalypse in Style contest at Topless Robot (link) ***UPDATE*** I lost the contest and didn’t even rate an Honorable mention. I guess zombies and lame poetry was a bad idea.
Surviving the Zombie Apocalypse in Style Sonnet
The most important part of my survival plan
would be to act as smooth as the Dos Equis’ man.
Who needs that old paper bachelor’s degree
when a silver plated pistol can make a zombie pee.
A fortified library would become my castle home,
while sniping zombies as they roam.
I’d eat caviar and the best of whatever,
hell people, even Twinkies don’t last forever.
A redheaded beauty on which to dote
an ugly looking dog and a fast power boat,
we would travel to my private island away from the zombie infestation.
Come on people even survivalists need an occasional vacation.
If you can’t live life fearless and with a little style,
is living at all really worthwhile?
My silver coins sounded like rain as they fell into the fortune-telling machine
and my heart ached to solve the mystery of my missing dear Colleen.
Huginn, why are you so mute, and Muninn, why are you so silent?
Why was Colleen taken by that so cruel, malevolent, and violent?
The mechanical swami whirled and drew a single card.
I thought that I was ready for anything but I was taken off guard.
My mystical answer simply read, “Love overcomes fear.”
Alas, my answer was not so crystal clear.
My quest to find my beloved continued unabated
among the deformed creatures, and the desecrated.
At last I found my dear Colleen, her body was distorted
no longer did she look like the woman that I had once courted.
I will not leave her though our life together is austere.
I now understand the meaning of “Love overcomes fear”.
Deep in the swamps beneath the green spiky palm
lived the legendary alligator called Two-Toed Tom.
Some say he was a large gator and nothing more
but the beast left a bloody swath in Florida filled with gore.
The old-timers tell us of a red-eyed hell-demon curse,
and it’s victim’s fortunes changed for the worse.
A cruel steel trap took three of Tom’s toes
and the gargantuan beast took revenge on his foes.
The reptilian behemoth survived Pap Haines’ dynamite and fire
with mayhem as the reward for it’s horrible ire.
No man or beast was spared from Tom’s slaughter
not even the life of Haines’ innocent granddaughter.
Fear not Tom’s historic red-eyed glint
but look for signs of a two-toed gator print.
Though the midnight wind howled in an unusual fashion,
and I was clawed by cruel branches and burl.
My heart pounded with fear and passion,
and I struggled to find my red-haired gypsy girl.
The moon was fat and the vast dark woods tore at my flesh.
Despair gnawed at my soul and my vision began to swirl.
I longed for her touch and for our bodies to mesh,
I desired the sweet, lingering kiss of my red-haired gypsy girl.
Her mood was a gloomy melancholy as she offered me drink and cover.
She showed me her new trinket, a luminous pearl.
Could that be the same one that I had given to another lover?
I was thunderstruck to have been poisoned by my red-haired gypsy girl.
He wandered to her camp in hopes of getting a little tipsy,
but I caution you dear reader to avoid the cup of a jealous Gypsy.
Her hair is the color of molten brass, Hephaestus would be jealous.
She moves with a smooth cool grace though powered by hot steam.
Clockworks spin within her and my focus is quite zealous.
I can not help but notice that her lights are all agleam.
I pray thee steam-powered girl, may I enquirer of your make and model?
Her voice is melodious as she answers so sweetly and demure.
Love has quickened my heart. I’m unsteady and start to toddle.
I wonder if my condition is serious, but I do not want a cure
Eros has started my clockwork heart.
I have found my steam-powered companion.
The secrets of our love I shall never impart,
but they are deeper than the deepest canyon
At last, I have found someone made just for me,
for a clockwork heart, love is the key,