Real Halloween horror stories

Jack-o-lantern
Jack-o-lantern (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

It’s that time of the year when my thoughts turn to all things creepy. I love Halloween despite the best efforts of the cosmos to ruin it for me. I’ve had my share of strange and rude Trick-or-treaters,  One of the most unusual had to be what I call the midnight creeper.

I turn out the lights between 9 and 10 on Halloween night. I enjoy the kid’s in costume but I draw the line with intoxicated adults and street-people. About 30 years ago, I sat watching a marathon of old slasher movies in the dark (the best way to watch those movies). To my surprise someone knocked on my door, I looked at the clock and it was slightly before midnight.  Thinking that only a friend would pop in this late, I answered the door flamboyantly with a quote from Poe.

As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.

I flung open the door to find a HUGE man in his mid-forties with a pillowcase in his hands. “I’m trick-or-treat’n for my kid.”

I gave him a fist-full of candy only to have him ask for the rest of the bowl — “since it’s so late and your done with Halloween.” I dumped the rest of the bowl in his bag as he added a polite “thank you.”

Damn, that man scared the crap out of me. He was probably harmless, but I learned to check before answering the door late at night.

The empty bowl: I decided to play a little trick on the Trick-or-treaters by placing an empty bowl in a chair on the front porch with a sign “Happy Halloween, Do Not Disturb, Please Take One.” I sat on the couch and listened to the frustrated Trick-or-treaters complain about dishonest kids. Some were only frustrated that they didn’t get to empty the bowl first. While a couple kids rang the doorbell to inform me that my bowl was empty and “they didn’t do it!”

It wasn’t long before one kid had a complete meltdown and flipped over the bowl and chair. The disturbing part was that a parent was watching the hissy fit and did nothing to stop him. Only after the boy wreaked the porch and I yelled at him did his mother step forward to tell me how stupid I was to think children wouldn’t steal all of the candy. At that point her son added, “that’s what I would have done.”

halloween
halloween (Photo credit: molito66)

More often than not, it isn’t the greedy little kids that are the problem, it’s the adults. I had one well-dress woman ring the bell and ask for a “refund” on some candy. She complained that my Tootsie-rolls were stale.  I let her pick out what SHE wanted from the bowl.

Another lady chewed me out because her child burned herself. It seemed that the lady put a “real” candle in a plastic pumpkin pail and I tossed candy into it thinking it was her bag. At some point the child tried to retrieve the candy and burned herself. The lady returned to my house and threw a fit. I said, “Lady, kids are using those plastic jack-o-lantern pails to hold candy. You put a flame in a plastic pumpkin and I’m the bad guy?” Of course, the other parents tore into her and I wondered if the police would show up.

There you have it, a small sample of my real Halloween horror stories. I wonder what will happen this year.